Tag Archives: love

What It Feels Like To Be Dating A Narcissist

You never have to build up their ego. They already have the biggest one you’ve seen. They spend a long time in the bathroom. Mostly spent by looking at themselves in the mirror. They think they’re always right and will try to outsmart you in any argument. They never try too hard. They don’t have to. They’re already amazing! Which in the case of my boyfriend, he is pretty amazing. And he knows it, too. He has the biggest sense of importance of himself. Everyone should know who he is; everyone should pay attention to his mere presence. His head is so inflated, I wonder how it hasn’t popped yet. Granted he should rightfully so be proud of the many things he is proud of. He is proud of being the smartest person on earth. “No, the universe” he always corrects me. Apparently, it has to be known he is smarter than aliens, too. When I first met my boyfriend, he was so intuitive he guessed everything about my whole life story in one day. He reminded me of Sherlock.

We both have different ways in which we receive complements. I’m a total opposite of a narcissist. I have the lowest self-esteem ever. When anybody tells me that I am dressed nicely or my hair came out pretty, I shy away and can’t even accept it. When I tell my boyfriend that his hazel eyes are stunning or that his arms are oh so muscular or that he looks positively cute one day, he responds with “I know right!” He’s also not joking about this. Many people joke about carrying a big ego. He doesn’t because he feels completely shameless in doing so. Granted, he is so handsome I don’t know if he has any other way of reacting to his attractiveness.

It’s pretty remarkable actually how he loves me so much. It’s easy for me to love people. I always care more for everybody else and sometimes I put me aside. Which is bad, I know. But a narcissist? They lack empathy for others. They care most about themselves and everybody comes second or maybe the number two is too close to the number one. My boyfriend is at number one and everybody cuts it at number 100 probably. Or number 1000. But as far as I know, I’m not at number 100 or 1000. I’m not even a number. I’m the biggest priority in his life. In the beginning of our relationship, it was hard. I realized it might not be possible for him to love at all. I became anxious that I was putting in time to a pointless relationship. Without love, how can it be prosperous in the future? As the months went on, he started changing. He grew sweeter and more caring. He began to love somebody that wasn’t himself or his family members. He started doing nice things for me such as opening the door and being patient when I started talking about the problems in my life.  It’s baffling that a narcissist, someone so about themselves, puts me on a pinnacle. It makes me wonder if he’s actually a narcissist at all.